The World Cup finally Finals
And Tom Tuchel continues to get it tight
Hello
We’re nearly there. It seems like months ago that Scotland were part of this tourney.
I don’t know about you but I’ve probably not enjoyed this World Cup as much as I hoped to but certainly more than I did Qatar 2022. That’s not to say it hasn’t had its moments though and we’re set up for an intriguing final.
On Monday our attention can turn to the new domestic seasons and how Row Z will cover them - delivering the laughs you’re looking for at incredible value for money. There is nothing to fear from the big two so hopefully everyone goes into the new Premiership season with plenty of belief and makes it such a compelling watch that last season looks dull in comparison. Plenty to catch up on in the next two weeks.
Let’s look back at the World Cup semi finals then.
Spain totally dominated France in a way we haven’t seen before or expected. Team v individuals. Lamine Yamal got a kick up the arse to win a penalty.
That was the highlight for me. It’s hardly new news but what a player Rodri is eh. He’s really kicked on since being humbled at Hampden.
Argentina v England was a game of two halves. The first one didn’t really need a ball, everyone could just run about kicking each other and squaring up.
Second half saw England take the lead through Anthony Gordon and then retreat to their barracks to hold what they had. Stupid boys.
Messi was given the freedom of the right (not politically) to work his magic. Tom Tuchel sent on more defenders and banned any sort of out ball with immediate effect.
Inevitably in the 85th minute the English defences were breached by an Enzo Fernandez pinger that some keepers would save but Jordan Pickford couldn’t.
Rather than settle for extra time, Argentina continued to dominate and search for a winner. In the 91st minute they got their reward. A pinpoint cross from the master was nodded in by Martinez.
England tore up the other end in a frantic search of the equaliser. Oh wait, no they didn’t because Tommy’s interventions left a team of defenders whose sole task and mindset was to hold a lead.
Tuchel’s England had completely fucked it in an even worse way than Gareth Southgate’s England ever did.
Unsurprisingly the English media went right after him. The Rest is Bollocks on Netflix was compelling viewing.
Over on ITV it was time for The Pougs to go home for another couple of years until Euro28.
They’re so cute with their mousy brown hairballs and St George cross t-shirts.
In his defence Tom Tuchel has suggested that controlling and retaining the ball is not in an English footballer’s DNA.
I’m filing that under bullshit. Maybe if everyone cut out this obsession with 1966 and it’s coming home (can you really call somewhere home when you’ve been away for 60 years?). Play to your strengths. Camping on the edge of your own box with a team of defenders is not playing to English strengths. Buckling your swash is.
It’s always nice to be able to reuse a cartoon without making any changes. It’s even nicer to do it twice in succession.
I’m reading that the fraud Roberto Martinez is favourite for the Scotland job and is interested in talking with the SFA. If he can underperform with golden generations then imagine what he could do to us.
Fresh from cutting their news service for northern Scotland, STV are instead investing in bringing their clickbait radio football show to our television screens each Friday.
So, who is winning the World Cup then? Spain will find a way to neutralise Messi, take a 2-0 lead then concede in injury time but manage it out for a 2-1 win. Not confident about that though. The only thing I can say with certainty is that I won’t watch the half time show.
Cheers
Keith