The Row Z Scotland ratings
Plus the knockouts are here!
Hello
The knockouts got underway last night with what in advance you’d call one of the least attractive ties. Basically, any game involving South Africa is going to be shite. So it was sweet relief that the Canadians came up with a stoppage time winner.
Today’s line up of games is more mouthwatering than a packet of Opal Fruits.
Brazil v Japan, Germany v Paraguay and Netherlands v Morocco. I’ll be drawing moments from all of these on Twitter and Substack notes so please get involved there.
Scotland The Ratings
After what was another disappointing tournament for Scotland I thought I’d draw a line under the whole thing by giving ratings out of ten for each player.
Steve resigned as soon as we were emptied and then did an in house interview in which he said the team would go down in Scottish folklore. Well the Denmark qualifier will but the tournament proper will live short in the memory. Coaching has turned out to be a major problem and it’s a results business so Steve scores a 3/10.
Angus made some saves whilst having a mandatory flap in each game. 5/10
Tricky Hickey looked short of match fitness. He can and will be better in future. 4/10.
Disappointing club season, mediocre World Cup. Nice guy. 5/10.
The Great Scott was probably our biggest disappointment. According to the data he ran about a lot but it couldn’t have been with the ball. Missed some half chances, nearly had a penalty, got a stauner instead. Can be so much better. 2/10.
Grant is the ‘for fuck sake’ of team selections. Even when he’s not playing it’s his fault. Screwed up against Morocco but otherwise he probably met the low expectations. 4/10.
Bit of a head scratching role against Morocco. Generally okay. 5/10
Ran about like an arseless chicken but was never close to what he’s capable of. Unai Emery brings out of him what Steve Clarke couldn’t. Did score the goal though. 5/10.
John’s counterweight buttocks flattered to deceive as they tipped him forward looking for free kicks and penalties to no avail. Could have been a star of this tournament but was miles off it. 2/10.
Wasn’t enthusiastic enough with his Flower of Scotland. I’m sure the experience will stand him in good stead. 6/10.
Looked fearsome but could be more intimidating to opponents if he would just scowl more. Never looked like scoring in the half hour he played. 4/10.
Played almost three times as many minutes as Dykes and was just as effective. 4/10.
Managed to get his standard over the bar shot away. Other than that he offered little beyond a pick n mix of tattoos. 3/10.
The short arse goalie signed a contact extension for the Rangers bench to show the height of his ambition matched his physical shortcomings. Gets a solitary point for taking part in general team activities. 1/10.
Saudi Jack was a bit of a surprise starter but ended up playing all 270 minutes (as did Gunn, McTominay and Ferguson). He was pretty steady other than that VAR get out of jail card against Brazil. 6/10.
The gangly forward got on in the 89th minute against Morocco. That was enough time to show why he wouldn’t get any minutes in the next game against Brazil. 1/10.
Moved down the pecking order so never got a sniff of a game. Still got a ridder from the heat. 1/10.
Sat chatting with John Souttar throughout. 1/10.
Sometimes the trickster even took the ball with him on his mazy runs. Looked a a mild threat but his final ball is pretty average. 5/10.
Appalling mullet saw him nowhere near the pitch. 0/10.
Played every minute, did the hard yards, probably the only Scottish player that enhanced his reputation. Expect endless stories linking him to Rangers until the window closes. 7/10.
Larry’s touch totally betrayed him as he looked totally out of his depth. Totally understand him starting against Haiti, no idea why he started against Brazil. 3/10.
BBC made sure and run the promo for Icons of Football to remind us that Craig was there. Thought he’d get the start but Steve went for Angus. Extra point for being oldest player at the World Cup. 2/10.
Nathan looked like he was carrying a bit of condition as they say in the horse racing world. Thought he did okay which is high praise for anyone in this squad. 5/10.
Lack of efforts from the halfway line was something of a disappointment. Played like a veteran. That’s a backhanded compliment by the way. 5/10.
In football, you know things are not going well when Anthony Ralston’s coming on. It should become a metaphor for so many things in life. The worse things are the more Ralston you get. Winning against Haiti - no Ralston. Losing by a goal to Morocco - have five minutes of Ralston. Getting pumped by Brazil - get 15 minutes of Ralston. A pointless exercise. 1/10.
Looked like he might have something different to offer so was rarely given any time to show it. One for the future. 5/10.
Scott got the start against Brazil and within ten minutes had his head in his hands after fucking up hugely. I think he must wear a shirt with a really wide neck, could almost be an off the shoulder look. 2/10.
So there you have it. I also want to give marks to our SFA representatives.
President Mike Mulraney did a fine job of sitting next to Gianni Infantino while not being able to keep his top button done up. 10/10.
Chief Executive Ian Maxwell continued his fine run of being completely detached from reality by telling the media “the succession planning starts now” in reaction to Steve Clarke resigning. Something to ponder there.
Cheers
Keith